I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
