where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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