grandma shit on top of the toilet
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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