hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
