No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
