dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
