I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
