So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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