fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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