he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
