first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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