Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
