I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
