So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
