I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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