I'm really into asian looking animals
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
