She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
