girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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