Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize