im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
