so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
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She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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