I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
