am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
