thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
