dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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