she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
