Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
