It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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