we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
