I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
