drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
