what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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