saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
