she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
