her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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