Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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