I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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