Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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