I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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