Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
MIDGETS
????
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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