The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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