i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
