but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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