I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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