so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
