Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
