You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
