I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
