Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
