Don't you send me to vm
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
