Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
