i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
