He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
