Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS