Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
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i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
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And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.