Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Shitshow foam night was such a success
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"