Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.

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  (734): You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia. http://tfl.nu/z7s6
  Replies (15) Good night (1349) Bad night (1499)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents

  (636): View more from Missouri

  never have sex?

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  (314): sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents (636): never have sex? http://tfl.nu/1ynn
  Replies (44) Good night (4048) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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  (440): I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!" http://tfl.nu/07u8
  Replies (21) Good night (6719) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.

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  (520): Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents. http://tfl.nu/dtw6
  Replies (5) Good night (4373) Bad night (1265)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (54) Good night (73724) Bad night (2575)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  but it's kind of a high honor.

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  (308): I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly. (402): but it's kind of a high honor. http://tfl.nu/hn5k
  Replies (30) Good night (1385) Bad night (6023)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.

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  (410): I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time. http://tfl.nu/uvgg
  Replies (14) Good night (5444) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.

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  (413): woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol. http://tfl.nu/kdb1
  Replies (21) Good night (1206) Bad night (8766)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink

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  (406): Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink http://tfl.nu/w6xd
  Replies (5) Good night (1879) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.

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  (919): I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over. http://tfl.nu/red4
  Replies (3) Good night (855) Bad night (1399)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?

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  (906): I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u? http://tfl.nu/ided
  Replies (4) Good night (1490) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed

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  (215): For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed http://tfl.nu/2i1h
  Replies (2) Good night (1329) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...

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  (416): She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole... http://tfl.nu/kisj
  Replies (8) Good night (608) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"

  (1-914): View more from New York

  New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak

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  (914): Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits" (1-914): New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak http://tfl.nu/prur
  Replies (8) Good night (1247) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.

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  (757): Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up. http://tfl.nu/3jb6
  Replies (1) Good night (471) Bad night (162)

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