Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.

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  (504): I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now. http://tfl.nu/wc97
  Replies (8) Good night (719) Bad night (2194)
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  (925): View more from California

  is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her

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  (925): is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her http://tfl.nu/rdgr
  Replies (24) Good night (9049) Bad night (657)
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  (858): View more from California

  I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume

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  (858): I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume http://tfl.nu/37b5
  Replies (16) Good night (4699) Bad night (882)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.

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  (905): Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes. http://tfl.nu/qzyp
  Replies (12) Good night (954) Bad night (3842)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape

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  (980): after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape http://tfl.nu/d3c4
  Replies (8) Good night (3665) Bad night (827)
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  (415): View more from California

  i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.

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  (415): i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things. http://tfl.nu/f722
  Replies (1) Good night (2295) Bad night (909)
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  (626): View more from California

  im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.

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  (626): im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again. http://tfl.nu/ai0s
  Replies (6) Good night (1041) Bad night (2183)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough

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  (517): My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough http://tfl.nu/k0hj
  Replies (5) Good night (861) Bad night (1612)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers

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  (864): I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers http://tfl.nu/0wmu
  Replies (5) Good night (1579) Bad night (593)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.

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  (972): I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in. http://tfl.nu/6wlf
  Replies (16) Good night (981) Bad night (1866)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.

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  (940): He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts. http://tfl.nu/9w8s
  Replies (11) Good night (2954) Bad night (561)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.

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  (615): We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video. http://tfl.nu/j3gr
  Replies (3) Good night (1156) Bad night (475)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!

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  (631): I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving! http://tfl.nu/q0d4
  Replies (3) Good night (1119) Bad night (420)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward

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  (206): His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward http://tfl.nu/5ira
  Replies (7) Good night (547) Bad night (246)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.

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  (612): I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk. http://tfl.nu/mura
  Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (236)

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