She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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