Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
