they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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