Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
