Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize