is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sorry about my life...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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