someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
