I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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