i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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