he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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